Hello whoever will read this, it’s very nice of you to take the time to do that. You didn’t have to sift through what I pieced together here but I’d imagine you are reading this to find out what happened to me or maybe because it is late where you are.
The short answer is a lot - but when I write it as a list or a sentence of things separated by commas it doesn’t really resemble the amount of time that I’ve spent away from posting things online. If you didn’t notice, that’s what I was hoping for. A quiet retreat. And I didn’t even do a great job of it, I still posted a few scattered thoughts and felt the guilty pangs of needing (okay, wanting) someone to validate me. It feels good to have this validation of a retweet. Or a like. A follow. Ultimately these things do not make me happy. They make me feel competitive for more likes, more attention. I used to run track in elementary school. I would throw up during races. Ultimately these kinds of things make me feel uneasy.
I am working on a collection of songs with the band: Colin, David, Julia and Olivier. At this point I am proud of the ideas. There will be a time in the next 6 months where I am sick of them and I will second guess myself. Music is not competition. There are mistakes and there are great things to be made from those mistakes. This is a reminder to me, from me. It is important for me to make mistakes, but to also feel the successes alongside them.
This will be a long process - just as many creative things are. Art (if you are fine with me calling what I make ‘art’) can take an incredibly long amount of time and energy (and quite often, money) to get right. I might keep this long process very private and share very little. If this benefits the music, I think we will both really love that. Just now, I am looking out at all our equipment downstairs and thinking “How could I capture this in a square photo, perfectly centered?” but this won’t make the end result any better. I may change my views on this.
I am very thankful for you as a listener and a reader. So thank you for continuing to do just that.
Talk soon, Aidan